I wish I could punch you in the face.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
