is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize