What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I believe in your delicious
I'm too high and old for this...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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