barbara walters just said penis...
now i know why i became what i already was.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
