First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She needs sedatives and a leash
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Randomize
