Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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