if i can run in heels then i can drive
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
