just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
