but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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