He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It was like getting head from an anaconda
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
