I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
