i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
