I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
