We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
