remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
