were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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