Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
