that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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