Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
