areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
