he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
