Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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