i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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