haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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