You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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