There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My bed smells like the plague
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