The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
