Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
