in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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