he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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