Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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