He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize