I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Randomize