what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
