She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
