Kiss
Puke
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
