i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
