so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
