she was so not down for the gang bang
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
