i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
