dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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