You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
God I need to hump something, right now.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
