Sry I called you an 8
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
