she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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