every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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