I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I had to cum in my sink.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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