i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
