It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
