Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
