He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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