I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
