i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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