So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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