gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
