I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
