its not stalking. its research.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
