yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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