why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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